Expanding the Solitude
Javor Gardev © 1998
A time comes when usual tactics of escaping (places, people and situations) don’t work anymore. The illusion of saving integrity by escaping (places, people and situations) unexpectedly and unavoidably turns its grotesquely pleased smile straight against one’s face showing in addition all its unplaesant nudity. Impressed by the view of such shameless inconsistancy one understands that there is no solution in escaping (places, people and situations) anymore. Right after one comes to the conclusion that the only thing left to escape is oneself. Deeply grieved by the utopian quallity of such idea one decides to cut the attempts to escape, but to stay (in the places he used to escape, with the people he used to escape, within the situations he used to escape). Decision like that is neither easy, nor difficult and one can go for it. The hardship about it is that one has to become reconciled and meek with the idea to stay within oneself. Much more after realizing that all previous attempts to escape somebody or something had comfortably cover up the profound necessity to keep away just from oneself. Then one faces the solitude.
The state of being solitary is something one fast gets accustomed with. Especially when surrounded by good society. That is why “gethered together in Solitude to gather their solitudes” is idea, which has certain artistic quality. In temporary sharing Solitude one can really experience unique paradoxal pleasure of sharing solitude. The noble aura of this lovely sadness makes the Castle a place one wishes to be present at. Here even one’s inability to mourn the loss of beloved (places, people and situations) can turn itself into
calm melancholia crowned with beauty. Even the unlimited possibility to expand your own solitude given here could be properly transformed into a subject of artistic activity. And one can do it. Just as Karl did.